“You’ve only gone and bloody done it again. Started a project you couldnt keep up.”
This is a bit harsh, as its probably something 2016 me would have said. Although yesterday when my self doubt was at its peak i would have said it. Theres a long story behind why my self doubt revisited me and became as big as i am a person. Going into the that story is not something i want to talk about too much on the internet, i know what it is, my journal knows what it is and the new motivational quotes on my wall also reflect the learning the scenarios brought me.
So if im not here to write about this scenario what am i writing about? Well, did you know its been about a year to the day i had my last major relapse. How did I know that do i hear you ask? (i know you didnt ask but stick with me alright?) Because of this:
This this the happiness planner from brandmentalist. I got this as a gift for my 26th birthday, and i managed a week. Not this time though, this time im going to do the 100day plan (well 93 because i did a week last year) I wanted to do some sort of journal this year. My friends have started a bullet journal and they look beautiful but im a procrastinator and my creative side would over take me actually being organised. Rememeber that post about me getting organised for 2018? HAHAHAHA.
Im not going to show every spread as the planner itself is very personal. A lot of my first thoughts are the same as last year, thankfully that hasnt changed that much. what i will share is ive been a little more brutal this year about my strengths and weaknesses. By that i mean i have actually labelled more of them which makes me think i have grown as a person and actually learnt something. Im also learning more about my swot analysis which im hoping to vlog about in a future video- for work and personal purposes. Dont worry ill blog about it too!
Heres the only spread i will show you. (Sorry about the blur i couldnt get it all in one go) Ive been more positive about myself a person this time round. being kinder to myself is one thing i really want to try this year. Im hoping that in turn will help my confidence. As for my weaknesses, ive highlighted a few that are also potential threats. Some of them contradict others but thats me.
What i love most about this planner is the quotes pretty much on every page, and i know theyll help me regain focus. I am going to record another video on this as the one from last year is very old and outdated now and even thought it feels like ive not come far at all i cant actually believe how far ive come.
its often moments of reflection after something that has crushed everything you have worked or aspire to, you actually realise how strong you are. At the end of 2017 someone once told me that 2018 is my year. I didnt know what said person meant about this but i think i am finally finding what direction i need to go with this. The next blog post will hopefully touch on it, i want to talk about something boring to some but i want it written down (a sort of project of if you like)
Anyway, until next time im going to plan to be happy!